


let you down slowly (or not?)

by scarletstar



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Aromantic Character(s), Coming Out, Fluff, Gen, idk - Freeform, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22891372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletstar/pseuds/scarletstar
Summary: jisung comes outor: jisung and chenle have an important talk after a few incidents
Relationships: Park Jisung & Zhong Chen Le
Kudos: 37





	let you down slowly (or not?)

**Author's Note:**

> listen.  
> it's late. i'm tired. i needed someone to project my feelings onto  
> not beta read, all mistakes are on me and my lack of sleep  
> title inspired by let me down slowly - alec benjamin  
> enjoy, i guess

“ _ Why?” _

“Because I don’t  _ want  _ to!”

“Boo! You suck.” Chenle sulks, somehow squishing in closer to Jisung’s side. Jisung, in turn, shoves himself further under Chenle’s arm. 

“You  _ know  _ I don’t like rollercoasters. Or heights, or anything in any way scary.”

“Or  _ fun,”  _ Chenle mumbles.

Jisung snorts. Chenle had been trying for the past 10 minutes at  _ least _ to convince him to go to an amusement park with him next weekend, and Jisung had been, for the past 9, vehemently protesting this idea.

Chenle heaves a sigh, and Jisung feels it with his whole body. Honestly, could they be any closer? Jisung wiggles a bit and, oh, yeah, they could be.

Sighing again, Chenle says, “ _ Fine.  _ I’ll go  _ by myself,  _ because you’re  _ abandoning me.  _ Gosh, I can’t believe -- !”

He’s cut off by his mother opening his bedroom door, who pauses at the sight of them pressed so close together they might as well be a single being. A sly smile slides onto her face, and she slowly backs out of the room.

“Sorry, boys. You two are obviously … busy,” Mrs. Zhong smirks. The way she says it makes Jisung want to shrink into himself, but he doesn’t know why.

* * *

A week later and they are in a similar position on the living room floor in Jisung’s house. Neither had homework, so they were simply lounging around, enjoying each other’s company. The T.V. plays quietly in the background, white noise for their dozing.

Chenle is warm, and lovely to cuddle despite being so  _ pointy.  _ The two of them cuddle often, and physical expressions of their love for each other are not uncommon. Cuddling Chenle always makes Jisung feel warm all the way down to his toes.

Jisung’s brother stumbles in just as Chenle starts really snoring. He freezes, eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“Ji, seriously? I really don’t need to see this, man. Get a room or something.”

Jisung frowns, about to ask what’s wrong with what they’re doing, but his brother leaves before he can. He glances down slightly to find Chenle looking back at him, face sleepy and scrunched in confusion.

“See what?” Chenle asks.

Jisung shrugs. 

* * *

“Jaemin-hyung?” Jisung questions. He’s been working up the courage to ask  _ someone _ about this all day, and Jaemin is the last friend he’ll see before he reaches his house so his anxiety better  _ shut up _ because he was  _ doing this. _

“Yeah, Sungie?”

“Um --” okay, okay. Come on, man. It’s just a question.  _ Ask it already. _ “Okay. Uhm. Is -- is it, um, weird? For friends to -- to, like, cuddle.”

_ Wow,  _ that was painful.  _ Dude _ .

“Uh, I don’t know. Where’s this coming from?”

“Well -- well, whenever Chenle comes over, or I go to his house, well, we somehow always end up all -- all cuddled up together and stuff. And, I don’t know, my brother saw us and acted like it was, like, weird or gross or something. And last week his mom started acting weird after she saw us like that.”

Jaemin pauses to think, before putting an arm around Jisung and pulling him close. 

“Well, Sung, it depends on how you were cuddling. Like, Hyuck and I cuddle and we’re friends, but we don’t cuddle the same way  _ couples  _ do, you know?”

Jisung makes a noise, confused. “What’s the difference?”

“Hmm. Friends cuddling is more like, I guess, sitting close, maybe an arm around some shoulders or something, I don’t know. Couple cuddling is all about full physical contact. Pressed right up against each other and all that.”

“Oh. But Chenle and I -- aren’t a couple?”

Jaemin pulls back. “Uh, are you sure? ‘Cause you guys are always together.  _ Always.  _ And you touch each other all the time, like holding hands and stuff. You sure you aren’t dating?”

Jisung shrugs out from under Jaemin’s arm. “Right. Um, goodbye, Jaemin-hyung.” And he walks away before Jaemin can say anything else.

* * *

Jisung can’t stop thinking about what Jaemin said.

But he’s  _ right.  _

He and Chenle  _ aren’t  _ a couple. Sure, Jisung loves him so, so much, but not. Not in that way. Jisung doesn’t love people the way Jaemin seems to think he loves Chenle.

They’re friends.

They’re close and they cuddle and they love each other, but they’re just  _ friends.  _

Jisung doesn’t think he’ll ever love Chenle in any other way. Or any  _ other  _ person in any other way. To be perfectly honest, he’s never given much thought to it.

It’s just the way he is. There’s probably a word for it. He doesn’t need a word, hasn’t up until this point. 

It’s just the way he is.

* * *

“Chenle?”

“Yeah?”

“Have -- have. Um. Remember a while ago, when your mom saw us in your room? And when my brother told us to -- to get a room?”

“Yeah?”

Chenle turns to look at him. They’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch. They haven’t touched each other in a few days, not after someone -- Jisung can’t remember who -- had asked them at lunch,  _ Trouble in paradise? Uh oh, are you guys having your first couple fight? Don’t worry, you’ll be back to normal soon. _

Jisung hadn’t understood what the person was saying at the time, but when he thought about it later, Jaemin came to mind. He still doesn’t understand, not really, because he and Chenle are  _ friends.  _ But it’s been awkward since. Jisung has to make it better, he has to fix it. He doesn’t like feeling weird about the only person in the world he thinks he’d ever live for.

“Um, um, well, and the person a few days ago? And, well, I just. Jaemin thought we were a couple.”

He hadn’t meant to say that last part; it made him feel … squirmy inside, in an unpleasant way.

“Oh.” Chenle looks down at his hands. He fiddles with his pants for a second before looking up suddenly. The look in his eyes is panicked, slightly, and his words rush out like he’s afraid of being interrupted. 

“I don’t want to -- to date you, Jisung. I -- I love you, I do, but not like that. No one like that, ever. It -- I looked it up, and I think maybe the word is aromantic? That’s my word, I think. That’s my word, and it fits well enough and I. I don’t love you like that, Sung. Sorry.”

Jisung, blinks startled. “Why are you apologizing. I -- I was just about to say the same thing.”

Chenle looks at him, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, maybe. “What?”

“Well, not the ‘aromantic’ part, but. I don’t want to date you either. You’re my best friend, and I love you. But not -- not in the way I think people mean when they date someone.”

“Oh. Cool.”

They sit in silence for a moment.

“What -- what is aromantic?” Jisung asks.

Chenle smiles a little. “It means someone who doesn’t feel, like, romantic feelings towards people.”

“Oh.”

It’s silent for a moment more.

“I, I think. Maybe.” Jisung pauses, considering. “I think that might be my word too.”

He looks right back at Chenle as he says this. They stare, Chenle’s smile slowly beginning to spread. “Yeah?”

Jisung nods.

“Well, cool. We share a word now.”

Jisung giggles. “We share a word now.” He smiles bright at Chenle, a weight he had not realized was there off his chest. “Thank you for telling me.”

Chenle grins wide. “And thank  _ you,  _ for telling  _ me.” _

“I think I like sharing a word with you. Should -- should we tell? Others?”

Chenle finally moves across the couch to sit right next to Jisung. He shrugs. “We can. Whenever you want. I think it will help clear a few things up, at least with our families.”

Jisung rests his head against Chenle’s.

“Okay, yeah. Whenever we want.”

Jisung feels … better, now.

Not because he found a word to describe what he feels -- or doesn’t.

He feels better because he and Chenle just -- came out to one another, I guess. And there’s no awkward distance between them now. No need.

They know who they are to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading?  
> 


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